Anchor or Lifesaver

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Why do I feel the need to be the caregiver to all? Is it my ethnicity? Or just in my nature? I’d say it’s a combination of both. I swear, I do this at home, work, and whenever I feel the need to step in. It’s a blessed or coursed instinct I have. Watching my Mom, specifically, while growing up, she made sure to cater to house guests and ensure everyone was comfortable, fed delicious, homemade food 24/7, and treated everyone like part of our family. I thought it was fun, but didn’t realize how much hard work and effort she put into everything she did. As an adult, I have more of an appreciation of her kindness and generosity. I sometimes wish I was that kid again. Wouldn’t it be awesome not to have any adult responsibilities??!!  No work, no commuting, no bills, no worries, just play all the time!!

Caregiver can be viewed twofold. Giving care to another in need, but all the while not realizing by doing this, taking care of your inner being, or soul. I really don’t mind it for the most part. It can be self-rewarding to know I’m doing good to others, but when I find myself bitching and moaning either out loud or silently under my breath, accompanied with an attitude of an ass, I have to stop and pause. I remind myself that it’s out of responsibility and obligation that I put this upon myself. I chose to do this and nobody forced me. Okay, maybe a little guilt may have a hand in my decisions. Mind you, it’s not dreadful or agonizing, but at times it can take a toll on me, physically and emotionally. That’s when I know it’s time to give myself a break, and do a little something-something to pamper myself. It could be just as simple as a trip to the nail salon, or buying a little bling for myself. Did I mention I should take stock in Brighton Collectibles? That’s another story in itself! Even writing on this dang blog is therapeutic and cathartic.  Dementia and Alzheimer’s disease does run in my family. So, I would hope that if I ever needed care during my older years, that someone would provide care for me with a kind heart and compassion.

Alrighty-then, it’s 1:30 a.m. PST, so now I’m able to go to sleep with a clear conscience. (I think)  Thanks for reading my ramblings and have a fan-frickin-tastic day!!

Published by Heart Reflects

Writings from my heart.

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